I just want to ramble....

This was the first August in over 16 years that I haven't been like the millions of other Americans returning to the classroom for a hues school year. I have been taking some involuntary time off from school... It is driving me nuts. While I like not having the stressful test schedule, three hours or more of homework every night, and all of the work that comes with school work. I do truly miss it. I feel like I am just at a standstill. Time is going by faster every day, but I don't feel like I am going anywhere. All of my closest friends are beginning their senior year, a year from now they will be starting their careers and I won't have anything.

I feel so lost, because I know that this break is actually GOOD for me. I have no clue what I want to go back to school FOR! I have two visions for my life and no clue which direction I want to go in. All I do know is I have no desire to go back to early childhood education, that job was not for me. I am so thankful I discovered that before I graduated. I do hate how much time I wasted pursuing that degree.

All around me I am surrounded by people who are perfectly content not haing a job. I also have the ones who are older than I am, but have settled with a job working barely over minimum wage. While I completely understand that everyone has their own view of success, I am still freaking terrified that this will be my future. At what point do dreams die? At what point do people settle? What will be my breaking point?

I have been so fusturated recently, because I feel like most of the people I am close to these days don't understand my need to be busy. They understand that I like it, but they just don't get why. Sometimes thou, I don't get why. If I am not busy I just feel, useless. In my grade school years I was always involved in after school activities. In college I did it all. Now that I don't have school, I am restless to fill the gaping hole in my life that school used to fill. Even though I was always skipping class (lol) my calendar was filled for every waking hour of the day. I was satisfied. I have been trying everything to make myself feel as satisfied. I am working a great part time job, that I love and am thankful for every day. I just started my own at home business working in the world of direct sales. I am having a great time with it, but even with my two jobs I am not feeling the same satisfaction.

So, I started a busy workout schedule. I am taking pole dance classes twice a week and Zumba when I don't have a Thursday wildtree tasting. Hopefully, satisfied or not, I'll lose some of this weight I have gained trying to fill my empty calendar with food.

I just don't know how to make myself truly happy. However, at the end of the day I wouldn't trade my life for any other. I sacrificed what I have always known, all of my routines, my comfort, my cravings for a full calendar for my out of this world amazing husband. I love the way my heart races when I hear his truck pull up outside the apartment.... Which he just did. :-)

I feel like I have been completely MIA these past few weeks. However, I am really happy with my life at the moment.

I don't feel like blogging about my life though. I actually found an article on my friend's FB wall and I kinda want to blog about that. It is titled "30 Things Every Woman Should Quit Doing By 30". I still have a ways to go, before I turn 30, but several of these things are things that bother me about some of the military wives on this base. Some of them are the reasons why I have distanced myself from the environment (I still don't know if it was intentional or not.) I have met a few ladies like Morgan, Nicole, Ashley, Anna, Kim, Bethany, Alysa, Jessica, Katy, Courtney...I can't list them all so I am going to stop here (If you are reading this and your name isn't on here don't freak out on me lol)... that I love and am so thankful that I have in my life, but it really is just a small handful of people that don't drive me nuts. For example if I read one more post about getting mary kay products I am going to scream.

....But anyways....

Here is the link incase you want to check it out for yourself.

And here are my comments about things every woman should quit doing when they get married. Before let me share a disclaimer that I am not singling out anyone specifically. I am not trying to create drama. Just wanna share my thoughts. Feel free to disagree idgaf.

1. Buying clothes from the junior section.
When you get married I feel like you need to accept that you are an adult and stop dressing like you are a trashy HS chick. I understand that acceptance can vary from situation to situation and there is NO need to just completely change your wardrobe overnight, but when getting new clothes remember that you also represent your husband.

2. Forgetting her parents’ birthdays.
Eh, buy a planner. It's pretty easy. I don't think this is related to being married or turning 30, I think that is just something everyone should remember.

3. Making out with her BFFs at bars for attention.
No shit. You know that is cheating.

4. Making out with her boyfriend husband at bars for attention.
I don't really get this one lol.

5. Filling her bed with stuffed animals (really, even one is too many).
What is wrong with your sex life? Get yourself a bookshelf for those things with too much sentimental value to throw out. Other than that, your hubby is your teddy bear. Unless he is deployed, then I completely understand. :-P

7. Rebelling against her parents for the sake of rebelling against her parents.
Yeah... come on now.

8. Declaring an entire gender “all jerks.”
I just want to point out that I am glad this really isn't an issue, clearly we love the cock. LOL

10. Skipping regular gyno exams.
You are doing the deed (I hope for your marriage's sake) take care of your junk. :-)

14. Thinking she’s got it all figured out.
No one does. You can always learn from others.

15. Living paycheck to paycheck.
Shit happens. You need to have SOMETHING saved up. Yeah our hubbys don't get paid enough for what they do, blah blah blah. There was a huge freakout when we risked having a government shutdown, I think this was a huge wake up call for many people.

16. Aimlessly jumping from job to job.
This doesn't apply really for the rant I am going on. But I want to take the opportunity to point out that I am so sick of people saying "oh I need a job" "oh I have been looking, but no where is hiring" blah blah blah. I have TWO jobs. The first one took me 3 weeks to get. I applied to 25 places and got calls from less than half. I had it a little easier for my second job, because the connections were already in place. I interviewed for jobs I did not get, but I didn't give up. I can't imagine not having a job. I would go crazy. First off, I like buying my own things with my own money and not surviving off my husband's paycheck. Secondly, what on earth do yall do all day?? I would like to exclude those ladies going to school, who have children, or are pregnant. If I fit in to one of those categories I prob wouldn't have PT job either. Those who say they can't find anything need to look harder... or look at all. This isn't a movie where the scene where the main character is looking for a job only lasts two minutes. And back to my mary kay note, your at home sales company is a great hobby. The parties are fun to go to and a great way to meet new people. However, I really don't feel like that counts as a job. Someone please prove me wrong on that.

22. Expecting a man to do all the wooing.
Don't really have an issue with this in particular, but I think it fits this list very well.

Okay that is all the ones from that list that really fit my blog. I am just in a ranting mood, so I want to point out one more thing...

STOP GETTING DOGS IF YOU AREN'T GOING TO COMMIT TO THE RESPONSIBILITY!!
I am so unbelievably pissed at the number of wives who get these animals and then turn around and give them away when they start acting like dogs. Or when they realize they don't have the time for them, blah blah blah. Most every reason could have been evaluated BEFORE getting a dog. Now this innocent creature has to deal with the stress of moving or being abandoned. The worst story I heard was about a couple who just let their dog run away, because they wanted to get rid of it anyways. Ugh. Another thing, puppies are babies. They don't come preprogramed to sit, go potty outside, walk calmly on a leash, exc. You WILL have to work WITH your dog! Your dog won't get things right away, it will make mistakes without having ANY clue they made a mistake. Don't punish the dog for being a dog.

I am done. Time for bed. :-)