I just want to ramble....

This was the first August in over 16 years that I haven't been like the millions of other Americans returning to the classroom for a hues school year. I have been taking some involuntary time off from school... It is driving me nuts. While I like not having the stressful test schedule, three hours or more of homework every night, and all of the work that comes with school work. I do truly miss it. I feel like I am just at a standstill. Time is going by faster every day, but I don't feel like I am going anywhere. All of my closest friends are beginning their senior year, a year from now they will be starting their careers and I won't have anything.

I feel so lost, because I know that this break is actually GOOD for me. I have no clue what I want to go back to school FOR! I have two visions for my life and no clue which direction I want to go in. All I do know is I have no desire to go back to early childhood education, that job was not for me. I am so thankful I discovered that before I graduated. I do hate how much time I wasted pursuing that degree.

All around me I am surrounded by people who are perfectly content not haing a job. I also have the ones who are older than I am, but have settled with a job working barely over minimum wage. While I completely understand that everyone has their own view of success, I am still freaking terrified that this will be my future. At what point do dreams die? At what point do people settle? What will be my breaking point?

I have been so fusturated recently, because I feel like most of the people I am close to these days don't understand my need to be busy. They understand that I like it, but they just don't get why. Sometimes thou, I don't get why. If I am not busy I just feel, useless. In my grade school years I was always involved in after school activities. In college I did it all. Now that I don't have school, I am restless to fill the gaping hole in my life that school used to fill. Even though I was always skipping class (lol) my calendar was filled for every waking hour of the day. I was satisfied. I have been trying everything to make myself feel as satisfied. I am working a great part time job, that I love and am thankful for every day. I just started my own at home business working in the world of direct sales. I am having a great time with it, but even with my two jobs I am not feeling the same satisfaction.

So, I started a busy workout schedule. I am taking pole dance classes twice a week and Zumba when I don't have a Thursday wildtree tasting. Hopefully, satisfied or not, I'll lose some of this weight I have gained trying to fill my empty calendar with food.

I just don't know how to make myself truly happy. However, at the end of the day I wouldn't trade my life for any other. I sacrificed what I have always known, all of my routines, my comfort, my cravings for a full calendar for my out of this world amazing husband. I love the way my heart races when I hear his truck pull up outside the apartment.... Which he just did. :-)

Well, clearly I fail at keeping up with my blog. I renamed it and gave it a new background since I have also modified the theme of my present life. Good bye "Sailors, Coffee, and Life" and my old cafe' background.

I had a hard time deciding on a new theme for my blog. I don't have anything that really defines me.

My last layout was coffee themed to match my job as a barista at Gloria Jeans. I loved that job so very much. I most of all loved the people I worked with. However, I just couldn't keep working nights and weekends. It was taking me away from the time I have to spend with Rutsty, who is the whole reason I am here in the first place. I quit when we got back from our honeymoon. It was really hard. I was only there a short time in the grand scheme of things, but it hurt to leave. I miss it, but I am happy with the decision made and if I could do it again, the thing I would have changed is doing it sooner.

I am very happy at Edible Arrangements. The pay is good, I work with some great ladies, and I love the hours. I thought about changing my blog layout to match this job, however I just feel like a fruit theme layout is a bit much. ;-)

I don't want to go super navy pride, because honestly I am enjoying living a life where it is easy to forget we are a part of the navy. Yeah my husband works 14+ hour days in a uniform, but he comes home every night to me. It is getting harder to forget though. Last week we had to turn in our Navy "dream sheet" which really they may not even look at when deciding where we are sent next. It was still a nice thump in the head bringing me back to the reality, that in less than 6 months I may be moving from my wonderful home in South Carolina. There is still a chance we will be stationed here for another two years, but we can't count on it. We don't have plans for kids in the next few years so we are taking this opportunity to try to live on the west coast for a change. Our first choice is Hawaii, holidays will be tough, but that is the experience of a lifetime. Our second choice was San Diego. Third was Washington state. Fourth choice was any pacific port, I think this could mean Japan. Our final choice is Kings Bay, because if we don't get anywhere cool I might as well be able to finish my degree through VSU and be close to family. To be honest, I am just terrified of moving. I have about 5 more months to get over that I guess.

I will do my best to blog more, but I have said that about once a month or the past three months.

Life has been such a blur the past few weeks. I have no clue where the month of April went! Oh and before I forget...

Now that we got that out of the way... yeah holy shit it is already May! That means I have been living in SC for almost half of a year. I have been working at Gloria Jeans for three months. Rusty graduates power school next month. Just so much has happened and is about to happen. 

Wanna know what I have been up to? Wanna know what I am currently up to? 

No?

Okay you can stop reading right here. 

Currently, I am just enjoying sitting down. Both of my feet are propped up on the sofa and I am just loving having some quiet time. Rusty is studying. Jasper is chewing... on my fucking sock. Ugh. I give him so many toys, chew sticks, and he decides he will chew on my sock. Yeah, I just noticed that as I was writing. Too bad this isn't a video blog, yall would have had some legit entertainment! Oh well, I need to buy new socks anyways... 

I am mentally and physically preparing myself for another holiday at Edible Arrangements! This time I am an actual employee. A few weeks back (around the time I stopped blogging for a bit) I started looking for a second job. By chance, this was also the time that Edible Arrangements was hiring! Talk about good timing. I started looking for a job, because I only work about three days a week at Gloria Jeans and that leaves me with a lot of bored downtime while Rusty isn't home. When I could get extra hours at GJ it was when Rusty was at home. Now, I have two jobs and a lot less time just sitting around on my couch. :-) I am much happier this way.

I am really liking working at Edible Arrangements so far. I found another job with great supervisors and coworkers. The work is fun and the time passes by quickly. I just wish there was music. I am actually NOT working at the same location that I worked at on Valentines Day. So, I really and truly am the new kid. I hate being new, but since I worked as a temp before I don't feel QUITE as awkward. :-/ I am EXTREMELY thankful I got this job. It keeps me moving, it is unique, it has GREAT hours, it pays really well, and I work with great people. 

Gloria Jeans is going well. I really do consider my coworkers some of my best friends here. I wish we could hang out together outside of the coffee shop, but there is always someone working. :-( My only complaint is one I have had all along, I don't have weekends unless I ask for them. I hate not having my time off coordinating with Rusty's. I moved here (SC) to be with my husband and allow us to get our lives started together, side by side, before he deploys. I just hate that our schedules don't sync up. I know my boss does try though. Next week my schedule is only one closing shift and I have Sunday off. It is a lot better than some weekends. I think eventually I will need a set schedule. I may be trained to close, and I actually wouldn't mind closing two times a week as my only shifts there. Honestly, I just want to stay there, because I love the job so much. I would miss it every day if I were to leave. Every day some one at EA has asked me why I am still working there, I have a true love for Gloria Jeans and the people that work there. We will see how it all plays out. I just know it would break my heart to leave my family at Gloria Jeans. 

On a different note... my car is finally fixed 2 months later! I have a working headlight, a hood that opens, and an oil change. :-) I am glad that I have one less thing off my mind. 

Jasper is doing well. I wish I could get him in to intermediate training classes, but I am going to have to wait until my life settles down a little bit first. I am always so tired, learning how to do a new job is EXHAUSTING! Meanwhile I feel bad that I haven't gotten to take Jasper to daycare or to the park in two weeks. :-(

Well, that is basically my life right now. Work, work, wanting to spend more time with Rusty, and Jasper. I really feel like I have lost most of my navy wife friends. :-( It sucks, but since I have two jobs I don't have time to just hang out at someone's house during the day, go over to watch TV at night, exc. It just hasn't worked out well for me. I miss having social time, I hope once I am finished training at EA and maybe get more of a set schedule at GJ my life should be balanced and I can start all over again and try to make friends with the navy wives. :-( I didn't even get to say goodbye to my friend Katy before she left for New York. I am really upset about that. :-(

Every time I get a chance to sit down and catch my breath, I feel like it is time to work again. Despite 15 hour work days and my crazy schedule, I am really happy with where I am in my life. :-)

Now I am going to go back to being lazy and relaxing before I begin 5 days of Mother's Day insanity at Edible Arrangements!

Today I had one of my all time favorite meals. All you can eat snow crab. :-) This meal has a special place in my heart (and stomach) from the good memories back in Valdosta with Jamesha and company. (It changed each time, but Jamesha was always down for the crab. Today I got to eat all I could of crab and shrimp at Hyman's downtown. Hilarious name I know, but it really is a great seafood restaurant. One of my all time favorites.

I am on their email list and earlier this month they gave me a coupon for all you can eat shrimp AND snow crab legs for $20. Also includes coleslaw, hushpuppies, friend green tomatoes, and a side item. Pretty awesome deal for the price! 

Well, the month is almost over and so this was our last chance! I am so glad Rusty took me! When you do this alone you just look fat lol. 

I LOVE going downtown. I hope that I don't regret not going enough once we leave Charleston. It is a beautiful place. 

Ah, and here are some of my favorite pictures to take... pictures of my food. I am so food motivated lol.

Coleslaw. It was some of the best I have ever had. This was after I started digging in.

Hushpuppies... for free! :-)

All you can eat crab and shrimp. I would have just been happy only getting the crab all you can eat. The cajun shrimp was super good though.

Finishing up the meal. This was three extra plates of crab later... I can tear up some crab. I only ate a few shrimp. Like I previously stated, I would have just been happy with all you can eat crab!

That gave us tons of stickers. Apparently if they see you wearing them you may get a gift card. We didn't wear them though. We weren't going to be in the area much longer. 

I was soooo stuffed after that meal. It was almost painful to walk back to the car. The hubby decided he wanted to go to the Apple store when we were done though. After he gave me that much pleasure in the form of food I couldn't say no!

He really wants to get an iMac soon(ish) like in the next year. I'm not crazy about the idea, but whatever.  I made a video in the apple store, yall can check it out here.

Now I am relaxed on the sofa with my man and my pup watching the Oscars. This was an awesome Sunday. :-)

Rusty and I are in downtown Charleston for a late lunch/early dinner. :-) He didn't want to leave until we went to the apple store! I recorded a little video for yall!!

Rusty is hardcore judging me right now. :-)

This is my first video post, so I am not sure really what to say or do. There were people staring, which is why I was blushing. I stopped recording when people came to the other side of the table lol.